To Be Or Not To Be?

Life has been happening. I recovered briefly from the allergy/asthma barrage to only come down with a cold and have spent the last three days in bed with no energy but plenty of congestion and coughing. Yuck. What a waste of time!

I have to say I've also been a little down lately hence the very infrequent posts. Things are pretty slow at work so I'm concerned about my job safety. So that gets me thinking about the future and all the ifs and shoulds that go with it. I feel like I'm living on a day-to-day basis not exactly knowing how long this job will last. Although, in all likelihood, I don't see myself getting laid off for several more months, if at all. But it's still got me contemplating what exactly would I do if it happened. My goal is to make it through June at the least. Then Nick gets a job after graduating, and we can have a baby. That's the plan. Granted plans don't always fall into place. So I'm naturally thinking, is now the best time to try for kid #1? What happens if I end up jobless, pregnant with no insurance? Bad situation. Not completely unsurvivable but definitely not ideal. But I've decided that I can't put this off forever. If I waited until everything was just absolutely hunky-dory, I'd never get pregnant. Life has to go on.

I'm feeling a bit better today. The flu-like weakness has gone and I'm left with a cold that's settled in and making itself at home. Icky cough, stuffy nose, tired. I'm wondering if it's because I went off of my steroid inhaler temporarily (with doc's ok of course) to see how my lungs did. The doctor said that steroids can suppress the adrenal gland (of which I know nothing) and it can have a hard time fighting off stuff. If so, maybe my immune system was a little weak and caught this cold. Doesn't really matter except that I did go back on the inhaler to help me get through the cold, so I hope if I go off it again, I don't end up with a visit from Mr. Cold Virus, Jr.

In other news, how creepy is it that we were just at Mt. St. Helens a couple weeks ago and now it's about to erupt! I've been joking that maybe I poked it one too many times when we were there. I hope it does erupt just a little, not enough to hurt anyone, but just put on a little show! They're so few and far between, that'd it be pretty cool to see one happen. I'd love to be a fly on the wall near the crater and watch it happen. And then I'd die, I guess.

Beautiful Disaster

This is a picture of Mt. St. Helens we took last week. You can see where the lateral blast was. I believe this is the west side of the mountain. Behind us is more of the Gifford-Pinchot National Forest, complete with blowndown forest, now surrounded by the rebirth of life.

A Breath of Stale Air

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I want to teach my child to: Appreciate fresh air
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I’ve been under the radar lately obviously! I’ve been on vacation for a little bit, but more than that, I’ve been miserable with allergies and asthma for the past 3 weeks. I’m allergic to things like cats (we have 2), dust, mold, smoke, etc… Usually, it’s just the allergy fit here and there and then I’m fine. But this has been the every day 24/7 allergy fit. You name it, I’ve got it. The scariest of which is the asthma. I’ve gone from using my inhaler once a year, to using it 3-4 times a day all in the span of 3 weeks. I’ve woken up every night with a constricted crackly chest and have had to use my inhaler. That’s when you know it’s bad.

So I went to my doctor on my birthday this week, and was told that the key to relieving the asthma is getting my allergies under control, which I knew. Since I’m not getting rid of my cats, I have to find alternate ways to tackle it. She prescribed Zyrtec to take on a daily basis, then said that if someone has to use their inhaler more than 2 times a week, it’s recommended that they use a steroid inhaler on a daily basis. Ick. Steroids scare me. The pharmacist says that it’s okay because they don’t absorb into the blood stream. I have to puff on it twice in the morning and twice at night. It doesn’t necessarily relieve the asthma like my albuterol inhaler does, but it improves the integrity of the airways in my lungs and helps reduce the frequency of the asthma attacks. Here’s the sticker. My insurance doesn’t cover prescriptions. Total for the steroid inhaler and Zyrtec for one month= $181.80.

I haven’t been able to exercise lately because of the allergies and asthma. So I’ve gained weight, which means I’m not in the best shape to fight the allergies, which means they get worse, which means I can’t exercise, you get the picture. I’m pretty depressed about the whole thing. As we get closer to trying to conceive, I get more concerned that I’m not in the best shape for having a baby. My doctor just emphasized how important it is to be in the best shape possible before conceiving because of all the stress it puts on your body. She’s very concerned about getting the allergies under control before we get pregnant. And I am, too, of course.

I don’t want to be one of those asthmatics! It’s not me. I don’t have those problems! I don’t want to be dependent on inhalers to live. I’m hoping I can knock them down with this round of meds, see how I am, and at least go off the steroid inhaler. Money’s not exactly growing on trees in our neck of the woods. It’s sad that people have to sacrifice their health because they can’t afford prescriptions. Who says it’s only seniors with this problem!