Since I took the test....

Saturday, February 12, 2005
7 weeks, 5 days

I am so thankful to have Nick's help. It's hard because I've got no energy and I hate having to sit down ALL the time to rest. I have things I want to do and need to get done and it bothers me that I'm useless. After work, I virtually collapse. It's a hard adjustment for both of us now that I'm so dependent on help to do the simplest things like eat. I am really looking forward to that 2nd trimester energy everyone talks about. I want to resume some of the every day things I'm used to doing. I took a picture of my ever-fattening gut today. It's mostly bloat and fat though. I can't believe how fat I look. All that eating I'm forced to do, I guess it's going somewhere. ;)

Thursday, February 10, 2005
7 weeks, 3 days

We have been having such great sunny days lately, it makes me really want Spring to arrive soon! :) The downside is having to scrape the car every morning though.Yesterday, I had a near-fainting spell. I had just started to feel the need to eat when all of a sudden the blood drained from my head and I got dizzy and shaky and thought I was about to lose consciousness. I managed to hang in there, but was shaky for a while. Once I got some food in my stomach, I started to recover. I guess I was low on protein and I probably had a sugar crash from the waffles I had for breakfast. I feel like I've been eating all the time. But apparently, I went a tad too long without a snack. I talked to a nurse and she and my dr agreed on upping protein and eating more frequently. It's very exhausting. Especially when you're not hungry.So last night when I got home, I had some eggs, cheese, peanuts and Nick cooked some yummy steak. That should do it! And of course I always drink a ton of water. It sure is amazing how demanding this little bean is.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005
7 weeks, 2 days

I've been a little down lately. I think it's part hormones, part pay cut. Just haven't had any motivation to do anything. Nor do I have the energy to even if I did. I hear the 2nd trimester is when you get some energy back, just to lose it again in the 3rd. Oh well! I'll enjoy it while I can I guess! :) I have a bit of nausea every day, usually if I need to eat something. It's hard to eat when you feel sick, but if I do, I usually start to feel better some. It's truly exhausting to have to think about every bite you put in your mouth, whether it's good for baby or not. Eating is quite the event that way! Poor Nick has to think that way now too. We practically have to cook everything until it's burnt, poor Nick. Oh well, it never hurts to eat healthy, it just takes more time and effort.Nick has been so busy with school that we haven't had much time to sit and work out the hospital tour issue. There's a tour next week for my clinic's hospital that we'll try to make. Just have to find a way to leave a little early without telling the boss why. Oh goody! Evasion Tactics 101.

Friday, February 04, 2005
6 weeks, 4 days

Nick and I have been increasing our walks this week. Although it feels harder than normal, I feel better overall. It takes everything I have just to walk around the block, because my fatigue hits so hard. I take a bit longer, have to catch my breath more, but I sleep better and it's good for the baby. I feel like my symptoms are morphing, too. Less heartburn, less tender breasts, but more peeing and the nausea is picking up. The psychological part of accepting I'm pregnant and that I have enough symptoms to prove it is slow in coming. I kind of feel like I'm holding out for that first appointment when they hopefully say, "Yup, you're pregnant, and everything's fine." As for the nausea...the past few days, it has hit around late morning, usually goes away if I eat something. But it's hard to eat when you feel like throwing up. Meanwhile, I'm having fun with the registries. It's a mix of dream items and necessities. I'm gonna put lots on there so that people have plenty of options.

Thursday, February 03, 2005
6 weeks, 3 days

A nurse FINALLY called me back yesterday! I scheduled our first appointment for 2.28.05. It will be a big one, lots of tests and stuff, but we should be able to hear a heartbeat by then! Still haven't decided if we'll be delivering at my clinic's hospital or not. I would like to tour a few just to make sure we pick the right one. I don't think we'll get it done in time to pick a new doctor for our first appointment, so we'll keep the appointment we have for now.The nurse gave me a 20 minute talk on what I can't do or eat now. No hot dogs, luncheon meat, etc, unless served steaming hot...no delis, salad bars...no soft cheese...no shark, swordfish, tilefish, king mackeral, no fresh/frozen salmon steaks...if less than 130lbs (I wish) only less than 1 can of tuna/week...no hot tubs...no overheating during exercise...and of course no alcohol or drugs. I have to call them before using any over the counter cold medicines, too. So after I heard I couldn't have deli meat, I couldn't eat my ham sandwich at lunch yesterday! I'm going to have to be extra creative, I guess. There is a great place up the street that has the best hot sandwiches, but I can't afford to eat there every day.The nurse also tried to calculate my due date. I told her I had a pretty good idea of when I ovulated, and it wasn't the standard day 14. It was around day 19. BUT, she said they use the day 14, although she added a couple days to it and gave me 9.23.05. I would bet on them changing it back to my calculation of 9.26.05 eventually. And if they move my due date and it matches the baby's development, I'm fine with that. For my journaling purposes, I'm using the 9.26.05 date, though, until confirmed otherwise.I managed to force myself out for a walk last night, even though I really didn't feel good. I feel good this morning and will try to get another walk in tonight, too. Even though I feel the way I do, I'm still having the "I don't feel pregnant" times. I look forward to having the pregnancy confirmed and knowing that everything's going fine. Not too much longer until we know for sure! :)

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
6 weeks, 2 days

I'm still playing phone tag with my nurse. Apparently you have to go through a nurse to set up an appointment with an ob/gyn. You can't just make one with the receptionist, I guess. Don't quite understand that policy, but okay. I'm probably not going to use the hospital my doctor is affiliated with anyway, but I just need to get that first appointment in while we search for another doctor.Unfortunately, we got quite the substantial pay cuts at work, so I have been depressed about that lately. For the first time, I feel like I don't know how we'll make it. I mean, we were scraping the bottom of the barrel before the pay cut. Our boss says he hopes to restore salaries within a few months, let's hope. It sure is amazing timing, huh?As for me, I'm still having symptoms. Lately, I've been feeling weaker than normal, even after eating a decent meal. I don't know if I'm just not getting enough iron or what. I had a rough morning today, woke up early to go to the bathroom, felt sick, had bad heartburn/indigestion, and was absolutely starving. I still feel unsettled and the heartburn is lingering. But so far no vomiting! I hope I don't have to experience that side of pregnancy! :)

Thursday, January 27, 2005
5 weeks, 3 days

Wow, I got 9 hours of sleep last night! And I'm still tired! I have been having pretty crazy dreams lately. I always have dreams, but never this consistently. Just about every night lately I've had several memorable dreams in a row. So far only one has been pregnancy related. As for how I'm feeling, overall not bad. I have moments of "I don't feel so good", but no sickness to speak of. Still have an occasional cramp now and then, but I think I should just get used to that. As for mentally, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm pregnant. I think it may not totally sink in until I see an ob/gyn. But I am very happy, and have moments throughout the day where I am in awe of what is going on inside me. Sometime this week, if not already, there should be a little heart beating. That's what really blows my mind. I'm having a great time absorbing the science behind it all and reading my daily update on the latest developments in the embryo. Things are happening at a rapid fire pace.Meanwhile, a nurse finally called back, although I was at work and couldn't get the call. I'll continue to play phonetag but while I'm doing that, we'll start checking out some hospitals since I probably won't be using the one my regular clinic is linked to. I may take the first appointment through them while we search for something else.Oh, and a friend of ours, Jenni, has been kind enough to offer me the use of her pregnancy books and fetal heart monitor! I am so thankful. That will be so helpful considering the tight financial situation we're in currently. I was just about to go on a major book shopping spree too! Thanks, Jenni!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
5 weeks, 1 day

I called my doctor last week to give them the news and hopefully get some direction on how to choose an obstetrician. They haven't called me back yet, so I'll be trying them again soon. It's quite the overwhelming task to pick an ob. But the general rule is to pick a hospital first, then the ob. So we'll be looking around for a hospital somewhat soon. Obviously, we've never done this before so it will be an interesting experience. I hope the search is short! Once we find an ob, we'll get that first appointment set up for when I'm around 8-10 weeks. They should be able to get a heartbeat by then, so that will be exciting.As for me, I had a dizzy spell at work yesterday afternoon. Fortunately, I didn't pass out or anything, just had to take a deep breath. And I also felt just a wee bit of nausea last night after dinner, everything stayed down though. I feel good this morning, but so far the days haven't really been a problem. It's the evenings when the fatigue hits. I guess that's for the best!

Monday, January 24, 2005
5 weeks, 0 days

Today I have made it through 5 weeks. At this moment, I don't feel particularly pregnant. Of course, I am, but it's hard to suppress the 'what-ifs'. I still don't have any real nausea to speak of. Not that I want it. I just have to trust that things are doing what they're supposed to and when I finally get to the doctor it will be confirmed with a heartbeat. The heart is supposed to start beating this week if it hasn't already. It's a primitive heart, but it performs the same functions as a fully-developed heart, but in smaller quantity...distributing blood and nutrients throughout the embryo. Amazing how fast it happens.As of yesterday, the parents know I'm pregnant. I don't know if they remember when they told their parents they were having a baby, but it's a little weird. It's a mix of excitement and embarrassment. Why embarrassment? Well, it's just the whole, this is proof we've had sex thing, which is something you never want your parents to know. Kind of like how you don't want to know about your parents. But overall, it is a happy time and our parents are very excited. It is something to look forward to and I'm glad we have relatives here to share in the experience with us. I'm sure time will fly!

Friday, January 21, 2005
4 weeks 4 days

It's a very weird feeling when I forget I'm pregnant and then all of a sudden realize it again. I won't be able to do that for too long! I have to remind myself every morning when I wake up. And that's despite the obvious symptoms I'm feeling! I've been having some off and on waves of menstrual-like cramps just about every day. They are painful, but they only last for about 10-15 seconds. It's normal as long as there's no bleeding along with them, and there isn't. It's just the uterus beginning to expand as it will grow to 1000 times its size by the end of all this. It seems to be aggravated if I have a full bladder, which is getting more frequent! Just one of the many joys I will be experiencing! But it will all be worth it. I had another bout of fatigue last night. So far, that is when it seems to hit. I've been a bit more tired during the day, but so far have been able to stay awake, which is a good thing. I don't know if I really have cravings yet, but when we were watching The Apprentice last night, their task was to run a Burger King and promote a new burger. Oh my gosh, all I could think of was that I can't wait to get my hands on a burger! My appetite has increased substantially. I'll eat lunch, then just over an hour later, I'll be hungry again. Can't wait to see what our grocery bills will look like.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

On Saturday, January 15, 2005, Nick and I found out we are going to have a baby! I woke up early that morning knowing I was going to take a test, so I couldn't go back to sleep. We took the test, and waited for the line to show and at first nothing happened, so I thought I had a negative test, which I knew was wrong because of my symptoms. So I gritted my teeth while waiting. About 3 minutes into the test, I swore I saw something show up. I ran to the bedroom for the flashlight and back to the kitchen and aimed it at the test, "I think I see something!" I said to Nick. We put it under the bright kitchen lights and sure enough, there was a line, albeit a faint one. I nudged him and said, "We're gonna be parents!" In typical Nick fashion, he said, "Yup!" and grinned. We are very happy and excited and still in disbelief. Did I mention scared and nervous? That too.I was still wanting to see that dark, no-buts-about-it line, so I caved in and tested again last night and got a very dark, almost instant line. So I am feeling much more at peace with it now, and am coming to accept the truth of it! My symptoms started shortly after I ovulated at the beginning of this month. Without going into too much detail, because of the potential relatives that may read this...sore breasts, high temperature, heartburn, some uncomfortable digestional issues (ahem), and most recently the extreme fatigue has hit. The past few nights, I have come home and it has felt like I have hit a brick wall and bam, I have to go to bed NOW! It hits fast and hard, like I've run a marathon. I am also hungry, and thirsty. So far, no real morning (noon or night) sickness, but some say that won't kick in for another week or so. Joy. What's hard to believe is that we are already considered in our 5th week of pregnancy. By the time you find out you're pregnant you've already gone through roughly 4 weeks! Crazy. Most doctors calculate due dates based on the first day of your last menstrual period, because most women don't know when they've ovulated. But since I've been charting my basal body temperature (temp taken before getting out of bed in the morning), I know the day I ovulated. So based on that, the temporary due date is September 26, 2005. September's a good month! I'm already dying to know what the gender is, but we're planning on waiting until the baby's born for the ultimate surprise! Can't wait.