Affording The Unaffordable

22 weeks, 1 day

It's no secret that we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. Nick's a full-time student with no income for the past 2 years, and my income has dropped to below my starting salary level of 5 years ago. We've only managed to survive because of Nick's grandma pitching in with some living expenses and Nick's tuition. We are extremely grateful for that help. Nick will be done with school in 2 weeks, with an MBA and feverishly looking for a new career. It is a delicate process that should be done carefully to avoid making the bigger mistake of settling for a job that isn't worth the 2 years of blood, sweat and tears he went through to find that dream job in the first place.

So why, oh why, did we get pregnant now, you might ask. I guess you can call us optimists. We had it all figured out. I get pregnant, Nick finishes school, gets a job, gets insurance, I quit my job, have baby. It all makes perfect sense. Of course, reality is, Nick is getting anxious about the job situation. I'm a little anxious, too, but I know he'll find something. I am just hoping it happens sooner than later. I really don't relish the thought of having to work to the end of my pregnancy, but if I have to to keep insurance coverage and there aren't any physical reasons why I can't, then that's what must be done. There's always the possibility of not being able to for health reasons, in which case, it will be brutal, but we'll find a way to pay for continuing my insurance coverage. Now, how we'll pay for rent and food and bills is another thing. It's pretty scary how close to homelessness a lot of us are. We've been living paycheck to paycheck for a while and both of us look forward to feeling stable again. Ooh, and the prospect of actually having money to save? Whoa, that's luxury, man.

Another financial element to this dilemma is the baby factor. I have so far resisted tallying up the cost we are about to incur. I look at our baby registry with wide eyes. All of the big ticket items are things we need for baby, there is no debate. Crib, glider, stroller, bassinet. If we don't get those things as gifts, we will be in some seriously deep debt, because as of now, the money needed to buy those things outright does not sit in our bank accounts. Those items are just the tip of the iceberg. Diapers, clothes, toys, etc...all add up. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the burden rests on other people to get us things we need. We chose to get pregnant, not them. So yes, we have to expect to pay for most everything ourselves. Let's just hope Nick's job comes before our money runs out.

I have long since decided that I will not freak out because I don't have the house prepared for baby by the time s/he comes. It is actually quite liberating. For the first few months of baby's life, s/he will be sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom for easy feeding purposes. So we won't need the baby's room set up to perfection for a while anyway. So I am not going to be that neurotic pregnant woman who tries to paint murals, lay new carpet and hand make all the bedding. It helps that we're in a rental and I don't want to waste my money on improvements that we don't get to keep. We'll do some minor rearranging and cleaning up of our 2nd bedroom, but I'm in no hurry.

It's funny, in my mind, all of these issues seem so far away. When I think of the reality that 4 months from now, we'll have a baby, it truly is hard to imagine. 4 months ago, we were just finding out we were going to have a baby. And how fast those 4 months went!